Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
