I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
When did angry sex become our thing?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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