i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
