I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
