Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
the day after is always just damage control
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
