Tell her she can't have a vagina
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
