sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize