I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
