remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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