all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
