i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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