i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
