Umm I'm too high to move.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
