You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
