Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
