Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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