i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
