Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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