i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
