he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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