Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
