was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
