before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
