In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
oh god the rape fog is back!
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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