He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Girls should come with a carfax report
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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