And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
the day after is always just damage control
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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