It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
