My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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