i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
