Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
