he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
