everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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