I wish I could punch you in the face.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
