Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
