I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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