Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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