saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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