I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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