I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
