The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
