I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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