I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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