I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
