I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
