Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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