You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Randomize
