...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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