it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
