If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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