I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
