I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize