I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
