drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
