her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize