this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
