a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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