For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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