Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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