I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
