Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize