I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
