this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
