recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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