What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
