theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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