Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize