I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
