it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
