how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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