he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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