hell yes lets make some ravioli
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
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