What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
